The Seaside Getaway


The poll sure was interesting.
First time we saw such a heated competition between two pairings.
They keep tying too.
But we came to a solution!
Not sure I'm too impressed with the solution.
Yeah, well, you don't get a say.
The winning pairings are... Ivan/Mia and Ivan/Jenna!


"No! I don't want to!" Ivan cried out. He was terrified for his life. He'd just been told that he had to go stay one night with not one, but TWO girls. And they were both scary. But to his avail, he couldn't get away. Isaac was helping out and dragging him up the path, while holding his bag.

"Sheesh, Ivan, you're behaving like a child," Isaac said, dumping him at the door with the bag. "Have fun. Just remember, don't get either of them mad." He smiled cheerfully and walked off down the path, leaving Ivan to face his doom.

Ivan pouted and got to his feet, dusting off his trousers. Why did he have to suffer like this? Sharing a place with both Jenna and Mia for one night was not his idea of heaven. He sighed and turned to face the door, which was suddenly yanked open.

"Hi, Ivan!" Jenna greeted him with a beaming face, before grabbing him and pulling him inside. "You're late! It's not nice to keep girls waiting!" She gave Ivan a hard stare and pouted.

"S-sorry." Ivan swallowed heavily. "Um... you seem hyper..."

"Uh huh!" Jenna nodded. "I found some Pixy Stix in the larder and ate it all! It was so fun!"

Ivan stared wordlessly at her then excused himself and hurried upstairs to get himself a room. He prayed that Mia had her sanity intact, wherever she was. Ivan decided to go and look for her. On his search, he passed Jenna who was drawing on a bust with a permanent ink marker. The bust of some random woman was now sporting a goatee and was in the process of growing a mustache.

Ivan discovered a patio at the back of the cottage and walked outside. He discovered Mia lying on the lawn and staring up at the sky.

"Hi, Mia," Ivan said, sitting down next to her. At least she seemed to be calm, which he was only too glad for. With a hyper Jenna on the loose, an unstable Mia would only add to the chaos.

"Oh, hi, Ivan," Mia said quickly, looking at him. She pointed at the sky. "Check out that elephant."

Ivan lay down and stared at the cloud that Mia was indicating. He frowned, feeling quite sure that he was not seeing an elephant but a rat. "I didn't think you liked cloud watching."

"I just want to be out here until Jenna's off her sugar high," Mia replied. "She tried torturing me by making me listen to her rendition of 'It's a small world after all'." She shuddered at the memory.

"I'm very sorry you had to go through with that," Ivan said sympathetically. He looked intently at the sky and started. "Oh, hey, there's a... I think it's a star."

"Looks more like an urchin," Mia argued.

"Yeah, yeah, I suppose it does," Ivan said. Maybe it would be better to keep quiet while they both watched clouds. He tensed, hoping that creeping feeling along his skin wasn't a colony of ants crawling up his clothes. Oh, why didn't Mia get a blanket? He shivered and tried to feel comfortable, banishing all thoughts of bugs from his mind.

After about half an hour, Ivan gave up and wandered back inside, wondering what Jenna was up to.

He found her at a table, frantically drawing on a messy pile of papers in front of her.

"Hey, look, I drew pictures!" Jenna said brightly as Ivan entered the room. "Come and see!"

Ivan walked over and looked at her pictures. She provided a running commentary as he looked at her messy stick figures.

"Here's me beating Sheba over the head for teasing me about Isaac," Jenna babbled. "And here's Sheba with a melon instead of a head. And this is me as a Queen ruling over everyone else. And there's the Wise One wearing a dress."

"Jenna..." Ivan paused. "How can he be wearing a dress?"

Jenna stared at him, lost for words. "Uh... I... I don't know... oh, hey, here's a picture of you."

Ivan looked at the picture, eyes widening. Stick Figure Ivan was yelling "I'M NOT SHORT!" while smiting his fellow stick figure companions with what looked like a torrent of lightning. "Hey... how come I'm shorter than everyone else here?"

Jenna rolled her eyes and grabbed a blank piece of paper. Ivan watched on as she drew a very tall stick figure of Ivan which reached up to the top of the piece of paper, then she proceeded to draw miniature stick figures of everyone else next to him. "Here you go!"

"... Thanks," Ivan said, backing away. "Anyway... I'm..."

"No, wait," Jenna said quickly, pulling him back. "You draw a picture too! Go on!"

Ivan sighed in exasperation and proceeded to draw himself running away from Jenna and Mia just for the heck of it. Mia was waving a frying pan above her head and Jenna had steam coming out of her nose and ears.

Jenna looked blankly at the drawing. "Hey, I don't breathe smoke, do I?"

Ivan sighed again and quickly left the room before Jenna could entertain him with further sugar high antics.

He had been sitting on his bed for a while, reading a book, when Jenna and Mia entered the room at the same time, wearing devious grins on their faces.

"Um, can I help you?" Ivan gulped as they walked over. Jenna wrenched the book out of his hands. "Hey! I was reading that!"

"We just want to have some fun with you, Ivan," Mia said.

"And we decided..." Jenna paused.

"MAKEOVER!" Jenna and Mia yelled at the same time.

Ivan screamed in terror and tried to flee, but the girls were quicker and grabbed him. They bodily marched him into their room and locked the door. Ivan kneeled on the floor, quivering in terror, as Jenna and Mia produced makeup kits and advanced on him.

And thus, Ivan was exposed to the horrors of lipstick, eyeshadow, mascara, blusher, bronzer and whatever else the girls decided to put on him.

"He makes a cute girl," Jenna commented.

"Yes, he does." Mia giggled.

"You're meanies!" Ivan wailed.

Ivan was eventually released after Jenna and Mia had had their fun and he proceeded to have a very long, thorough wash, then holed himself up in his room, cursing Isaac for bringing him here and swearing that he would have his revenge. Occasionally, a bout of maniacal laughter could be heard from the room. Mia armed herself with a frying pan to be safe. Jenna ignored it and set about preparing the supper. Mia cringed when she saw all the pepper bottles Jenna had brought for the special occasion. Her fears were even further confirmed when Jenna declared she would be making chili.

Ivan dared to come downstairs for supper, but as he tucked into the chili, he wasn't sure it was such a good idea after all. His tongue was immediately in pain and he swore he was about to breathe fire. Mia thankfully was able to supply everyone with a constant supply of water.

After supper, Ivan sighed in relief and drank more water. He realised Mia and Jenna were staring at him and gulped.

"Ivan," Mia said, looking innocent.

"You know this date has a purpose," Jenna said.

"So, we want to know..." Mia said slowly.

"Whom do you like best?" Jenna demanded, leaning forward and giving Ivan a piercing stare.

Ivan leaned back, swallowing heavily. Oh, great. He should have known this would happen. He had to at least tell the truth. Whom did he find the least scary anyway?

Jenna won in the looks department, but her temper was a bit of a downer and she did have a scarily overprotective older brother.

Mia was the calmer one and he had kind of known her longer, and he would say he was closer to her than Jenna.

"I... I'd have to say Mia," Ivan said finally. "Sorry, Jenna."

"Why is that?" Jenna asked, pouting. "Is it because I ate all the Pixy Stix?"

"I'm clearly the better woman here," Mia said, smirking.

"No way!" Jenna yelled.

"Oh really?" Mia looked at her. "Care to explain why?"

Ivan very quickly got out of the kitchen before he could get embroiled in their full-scale war. Fortunately, nobody was terribly injured and he was able to get a good night's sleep.


Back to Seaside Getaway