Oh. I'm tied
to a chair. Great. Just great.
It's torture time, Alex.
Are you ready?
Too bad. We're doing it anyway.
We're going to make you wish you'd never been born.
See, we got everyone to say some words on how they feel about you.
We haven't listened to them yet, but we're sure they will make you suffer and want to die.
Uh... okay. I'm confused though.
Never mind, you'll understand soon enough.
Now let's hear them. *pushes play button on recorder*
Alex is just so pathetic. He is not capable of loving anybody, except for himself, and is a complete narcissist, which is why he spends all morning making his hair look absolutely perfect, like anybody even cares. He probably kisses the mirror as well. The only reason he claims to be in love with Mia is because she looks similar to him. Uh huh. Alex only cares about himself. What a complete loser.
I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT ALEX IS A PRUDE LOSER. HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO FRIENDS. HE ONLY ATTEMPTS TO STEAL ALCHEMY BECAUSE THATS WHAT HE KNOWS BEST BY FAR. AT THIS POINT IN HIS LIFE, HE IDOLIZES HIS MOTHER BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO IS WILLING TO KISS HIM. OTHER THAN HIS MOTHER HE HAS NEVER EVER TOUCHED A GIRL NOR WOULD HE EVER TRY BECAUSE HE IS SO SCARED. INSTEAND, HE SITS AT HOME ALL DAY IN A BIG BLACK COUSHY CHAIR ON HIS MOST LIKELY OBESE ASS, EATING A TUB OF POPCORN WITH TONS OF BUTTER AND SALT, AND DRINKING DIET DOCTER PEPPER OUT OF A BIG SLURP CONTAINER. HE MOST LIKELY HAS GREASE STAINS ON HIS SHIRT AND SKID MARKS IN HIS TIGHTY-WHITIES. HIS WHOLE LIFE REVOLVES AROUND MANIPULATING PEOPLE AND HE THINKS HE'S SO GREAT JUST BECAUSE HE GOT A COUPLE ONLINE AWARDS THAT DONT MEAN SHIT. HE MAKES A LIVING BY SELLING HIS RUNESCAPE ACCOUNT ON EBAY AND THE ONLY WAY HE COULD EVER HOPE TO GET MARRIED OR EVEN TALK TO A HUMAN OF THE OPPOSITE SEX WOULD BE ON SOME STUPID ONLINE GAME LIKE EVERQUEST. HE WEARS GIANT, THICK, BIG BLACK GLASSES AND HE HASNT SHOWERED IN TWO WEEKS. HE HAS A BEARD BECAUSE HE IS TOO LAZY TO SHAVE IT AND HE HASNT CHANGED HIS UNDERWEAR IN MONTHS. HE LIKES CAUSING HARM TO PEOPLE TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER ABOUT HIS OWN PITIFUL LIFE. HE IS A LOSER AND THATS ALL HE WILL BE!!
Um... gosh... I'm not very good at insults. Okay, er, I think Alex really looks like a girl. Maybe he used to be a girl and had a sex change operation? I keep thinking he looks like a girl. Alex might be short for Alexis or Alexandra, you know? I wouldn't be surprised. I bet it's because of his hair... why is he so obsessed with it anyway? I don't see the big deal... what, you want me to shut up now? Aww... wait! Maybe I can think of a better insult! Um... er... forget it.
He is EVIL!!! Alex is the EVILEST PERSON in all of Weyard! He is so disgustingly evil that I hate him so much and I hope he died when Mt. Aleph sank into the ground. It sure would serve him right. What a scumbag he is. I utterly despise him with every fiber of my being. In fact, he is the only person I am actually capable of wishing dead.
*is sobbing wretchedly* Everybody hates me... ;_;
Alex is totally full of it. He thinks that he's so great. Well, he isn't. He's creepy and stuff, and I just don't like him at all, and I hope he stays away from my sister. There's no way I want that thing in my family, not ever. Perish the thought...
Um, you want to know what I think of Alex? Well, for one thing, I think he's kind of hot and-
Alex is so in love with himself, I bet he wishes to clone himself and have sex with his clone. The only other person he loves in the world is his mommy. He is a lying, conniving, cheating, manipulative dirtbag who used us all and I hope he suffers.
Alex called me an amateur Water Adept once, but he is the true amateur. Does he have hordes of raving fangirls and an awesome catchphrase? Nope. Clearly, I am far more popular than he is. Does Alex even have fangirls? I think even Garet is more popular than Alex is, and considering that Garet isn't even all that popular, that's pretty amazing. And most people who want Alex to be alive in the third game only want him to be alive so that he can be a boss and they can beat him up! Pretty pathetic, isn't it?
That's it! I can't take anymore of this!!! *bites off tongue and chokes to death on blood*
Oh, look at
that. He actually killed himself.
What a fitting end to his piss poor existence indeed.
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