Torture: Date


I have a bad feeling about this... I smell danger.
How very perceptive of you.
Hello there.
What are you up to now, you demons?!
Demons? What kind of name is that for your friends? I'm seriously hurt.
... You're kidding me, right?
We've got a surprise for you. ^_^
Oh, hell, no! *tries to warp* Wait, what?
Kyarorain gave us this anti-Psynergy device. Adepts within fifty metres of it can't use Psynergy.
Nooooo! *tries to run*
*clubs Alex over head*

**Alex wakes up to find himself tied to a chair**

Oog... my head... where am I?
Hello there.
You! Why are you here?
Hmph, you're so rude. And I even went to the trouble of dressing you up.
Uhh... *looks at himself* Why the hell am I wearing a dress?!
It looks so good on you. ^_^ I picked it out myself.
It's gross! It's all pink and flowery! And what's with the frills and ribbons?
Are you saying I have bad taste in fashion? *conjures fireball*
... And the anti-Psynergy thing is apparently gone. Figures. Uh, I mean, your taste in fashion is impeccable!
Why, thank you. ^_^ 
If this is supposed to be my torture, this is just dumb.
I know, I know. No man should feel bad about wearing women's clothes. The torture's coming up later.
... Hey, you didn't look at anything, did you?
Whatever do you mean? *twirls hair and looks innocent*
Oh, I'm sorry, was I not supposed to?
I must say, you're smaller than I expected.
............... *grinds teeth*
Now then, let's put some makeup on, shall we?
Hell, no! *writhes in chair*
But I want to put makeup on!
I don't want any!
Would you like me to burn off your teeny tiny little dick? ^_________^
... I'll behave. And stop insulting my penis please. When did this site get to the point of making cracks about dicks anyway?
The site went to hell a long time ago. Now then... *applies makeup* All done!
Sigh. How come you're here anyway? Where are Agatio and Karst?
Well, Saturos and I wanted to have a go for a change. Saturos is currently entertaining our guest, aka your date.
Hey, Menardi, is he ready yet? The guest is getting impatient and I can't stand listening to him much longer.
Yes, all done! ^_^
Excuse me, maybe there's something wrong with my hearing, but did you use the male pronoun just now?
Yes. Your date is male.
Oh, please. Have we really stooped to homosexuality as a torture?
You misunderstand, Alex. It's not about the guest being a man. It's WHO he is. *laughs evilly*
Yeah. There aren't a lot of obnoxious women, and let's face it, Lady McCoy is pretty good looking so...
Come in!
it's about time. I have been waiting for an inexcusably long time! I hope you will compensate me for this!
Have fun, Alex!
Enjoy your date!
Oooh, what a pretty young thing!
Oh, please stop yelling. *sits down next to Alex* It hurts my ears.
Get away from me, you ugly son of a bitch!
What a foul mouthed lady. I am shocked. Shocked!
I'm a man, you goddamn sack of crap!
Oh, are you?
Yes, so will you please leave me alone?
Eh, I don't particularly mind.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Look, who would ever want to date an obnoxious prick like you?!
My, such rudeness! How inappropriate! If we were in Alhafra right now, I would have you thrown in jail!But you're so beautiful... *touches Alex's cheek*
Now, now, calm down. You should be honoured to be in the presence of the great Mayor of Alhafra. *caresses his cheek*
Oh, god, he's stroking me, someone get him away from me! *thrashes* Heeeelllllp!
*kisses Alex deeply on the lips*
Hic... ugh... BLAAAAARGH! *projectile vomits*
I say! To cover me in your vomit is a most disgusting action indeed. How dare you!
*is convulsing and foaming at the mouth. His eyes roll to the top of his head*
You are not dying, are you? I forbid you from dying! Hey, are you listening? This is preposterous! I will not have any of this!
*chokes on vomit and dies*
... I am utterly disgusted.
What, is he dead already?
Wow, he died far too quickly. How disappointing.
I am insulted! You had better replace these ruined clothes or I'll-
Blah blah blah. This guy is so annoying.
Yeah, seriously. Just being in his presence is torture enough.
You don't think we went too far?
Of course not!
Yeah, you're right. Hmm, what should we do with this obnoxious prat anyway?
Let's burn him. ^_^
Sure. ^_^
Wait, what? Do you know who I am? I am none other than the Mayor of- Gyaaaaaaaaaah!
Aw, yeah, look at him burn.
So beautiful. If anyone deserved to be tortured, it was that loathsome ass.
I couldn't agree with you more.
What on Weyard are you doing?
Burning the Alhafran Mayor of course.
Weren't you supposed to be torturing Alex?
We did. See?
... You know what, I don't think I want to know what happened.
Nice one, sis. *high fives*
Hell, yeah.


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