How the Insane Proxians stole Christmas


*Vale* (A few days before Christmas)

So, it's that time of year, huh?
Yay, Christmas! Wait, do we even celebrate Christmas in Weyard?
Uh, probably not. Weyard isn't actually Earth...
Eh, who cares? We get to eat turkey!
Sigh... I know what I would like as a Christmas present.
Cheer up. Christmas isn't the season for angsting! It's the season to be merry!
But... I still don't even know who my family is...
Want a Christmas cookie, Sheba?
Ooh, a cookie! *eats it* Yummy! ^_^
Cookies make everything better. ^_^
I heard Kraden was going to dress up as Santa. What is a Santa?
Some old dude who wears red and gives out presents apparently.
Every night he breaks into people's houses through the chimney and leaves presents.
How the heck can he fit through a chimney?
And he even has a bunch of flying reindeer to fly him around.
That sounds... utterly ridiculous.
Yeah. Which is why only little kids believe in him. He's not even real.
What? Santa's not real?!
What are you doing here?
WAH! *runs away crying*
That was random.
I'm not in the mood for randomness. ._.
Geez! Don't be emo!
I'm not emo! I'm just cold... and I want to be inside... in front of a nice fire...
Yeah, it is a bit cold, isn't it? We should go inside instead of standing around like this.


Meh. Christmas. What's the big deal about it?
I know! What is it even supposed to be about anyway?
Whatever this Christmas thing is, it's clear everyone's going to be getting merry.
Bah. How dare they be merry while we're dead... wait, are we dead?
Don't think too hard about it, Agatio.
I don't think Agatio's ever had to worry about thinking too hard.
Those pathetic brats will be clustering around their trees, opening presents, singing songs, eating delicious turkey...
Bleh. I prefer chicken.
They even go to the trouble of decorating the trees. It's completely ridiculous!
And all we can do is sit on our butts and lament about the fact Camelot killed us off.
It's just so unfair. Do those kids even care about the fact they killed us?
Probably not.
They get to live their lives, grow up, get married, have children, grow old and die... and we have nothing!
Being dead sucks so much!
Still... we can't do anything about it.
Why don't we teach them a lesson?
Uh, what do you have in mind?
We'll steal Christmas from them!
... What? o.0
Have you lost your mind? How are we supposed to do that?
It's simple. We'll take away all their trees and decorations and presents and the turkey too.
It sounds insane... but great. Count me in!
Um... sure, why not? o_o
We don't have anything better to do after all.

*Vale - Christmas Eve*

Yay! It's the day before Christmas! I'm so excited! Have you seen all the presents under the tree?
Well, you do have a big family. Speaking of your family, how's your brother?
Oh, it's fine. I just told him Ivan was a pathological liar.
... You did what?
How can anyone believe in a fat man who fits down chimneys and has flying reindeer?
They are kids, Mia. If you told them the moon was made of cheese, they would believe you.
What? The moon's not made of cheese?!
Well, there goes your dream of travelling to the moon and eating it.
Oh, come on, Garet, you didn't really believe that, did you?
Er... uh... no, of course not! I was just kidding! Hahahahahaha... sigh...
It might just be me, but does anyone feel like we're being watched?
Um... no?
I don't feel it either.
Eh, I guess it's just me then.
I sure hope we're going to have a peaceful Christmas. After all this hard work, we don't need anyone causing trouble.
Yeah. Hopefully Alex won't rise from the dead tomorrow.
Are we even sure he's dead?
Or maybe he'll rise as a creepy zombie and try to eat our brains.
Don't say such freaky things, Jenna...
Your imagination is terrifying.
Don't worry. If Alex rises from the dead, I'll send him back quickly.
Uh, yeah... you do that...
I can't wait to eat turkey, with gravy and bread sauce, and roast potatoes, and delicious Christmas pudding...
Someone's hungry.
It's about lunchtime now, isn't it? Why don't we go and raid someone's house now?
We'll raid my house this time. Mom went shopping this morning.
Our parents must be getting tired of this...
Yeah, I think mine are... but my mom loves to cook for people anyway.
And my parents don't exactly appreciate having extra mouths to fill.
Wow... you guys know how to make us feel wanted...
I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt our feelings.
Let's just go eat already!

*Somewhere close by*

Heh heh. Those brats have no idea we're here.
This is surely going to be a piece of cake.
When they realise Christmas is gone, they will be so miserable. I can't wait to see their sad faces.
That Garet kid will cry buckets when he sees the turkey is gone.

*Vale* (Night)

So, we're going to sneak into every single house and suck everything up into a vacuum cleaner?
We have some very big vacuum cleaners. And they even run on batteries.
This doesn't make any sense.
Karst, none of this makes any sense.
Yeah, I suppose you're right.
Heh heh... this is going to be good.
It's a great way to waste our time for sure.
Okay, let's get to it.

I don't know how I'm going to be able to sleep tonight... =/
I'll sleep just fine.
Aren't you excited about Christmas?
Meh... I just want it to be over already.
Seriously? But it's exciting! We get presents! And... um, turkey!
What's so great about turkey? And we can get presents on birthdays anyway.
Um... er... come on... Christmas is cool...
Christmas is humbug. *pouts*
What's a humbug? o.0
... I'm not sure actually.
o_0 Man, you're weird... whatever... I'm going to bed. Goodnight! *leaves*
All this decorating and buying presents... it's so annoying. I don't want to do this again. Why am I talking to myself? *goes to bed*

Argh! That Saturos... what was he thinking, making us all wear Santa costumes? Idiot... *is currently sucking up everything at the inn*
I don't feel like sleeping... huh? Santa?
o.o Um... what are you doing with the Christmas tree?
Oh, er... it's broken and I was just going to fix it.
And what's with that huge sack like thing?
It's, er, for carrying broken Christmas trees in. I'm currently fixing them and I'll bring them back soon.
Right. I don't believe you, but whatever. I'm going back to bed. *goes upstairs*
What a strange kid... oh well. *continues to suck everything away*

Hey! Wake up!
Huh? Sheba? What are you doing here?
I'm not Sheba. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.
This is a joke, right?
No, it's not. I have come to show you your past. *takes Felix's hand and they warp out*
What is this?!

*Scene changes to some random room. A younger Felix is sitting at a desk and looking very bored.*

Meh. I am so bored. This is boring.
*bounces in* Hey, Felix!
I have great news!
Do you have to exclaim so much?
I do it because I'm happy! ^_^
And I've got great news. Dad said you could come home. Isn't that awesome?
Uh, that's nice.
Okay, so let's go! *leaves with Felix*

Wait, what? What the heck is this?
Um... your past?
I don't remember any such scene like this.
Um... er... well, why don't we go back now?
Hey, what is going on?
*warps Felix back to his room* Two more ghosts will be coming for you. The next one will come in an hour.
M-more?! But I just want to sleep!
Too bad. It serves you right for being an emo anyway. *disappears*
I'M NOT EMO! Why does everyone think I'm emo? ._. *tries to go back to sleep*

Hey! Wakey wakey!
Ugh... Jenna, what do you want?
I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present.
Presents? We can't open them yet...
No, Present! As in, right now.
Sigh... is this some crazy joke?
Come on, let's go! *grabs Felix's arm and they warp out*

*The scene changes to Isaac, Garet, Ivan, Mia, Jenna, Sheba and Piers sitting around a table for Christmas lunch*

This turkey is every bit as delicious as I thought it would be. *belches*
Garet, don't be such a pig.
It's too bad Felix couldn't be with us for lunch.
Yeah. Apparently he's being emo and thinks Christmas is er... what was it, humble bug?
Humble bug? That makes no sense.
I think you mean humbug.
Yes, that's it! I mean, what is a humbug supposed to be?
Maybe Felix's just in the habit of making up words.
If he ever shows up, we should ask him.
It's too bad he had to be so emo today. I'm sure he would have liked this lunch.
Oh, who cares? It just means more turkey for me.
You don't have to sound so mean about it...
If Felix wants to be emo, it's his problem.
Yeah, we'll just enjoy ourselves without him.
It is a pity though...
Wouldn't hurt to save him some leftovers, maybe.
I really do wish he was here...

So... I'm apparently going to miss Christmas lunch tomorrow?
Well, that's what you just saw, isn't it?
But I'm not even planning to miss it!
Anyway, it's about time we went back now.
I bet it's just another fake scene...
But can you really be sure? Can you?
... I don't get it. I don't get any of this. Is this some crazy dream?
It's not a dream. Absolutely not. Don't think that.
Meep... if you say so.
Okay, let's go! *warps them back to Felix's room* The last ghost will be coming soon.
Wh-what? But I don't want to see any more ghosts. ;_;
Have fun! ^_^ *disappears*
Sigh... *falls on bed and tries to sleep again*

... *pokes Felix with stick*
Yikes! ... Mia? Why are you here?
... ... ...
Did you get hit by that freaky mute thing that got me and Isaac?
*narrows eyes and shakes head violently*
Are you the Ghost of Christmas... uh, Future?
Not very talkative, are you? So, you going to show me some more senseless crap?
*nods again and takes his hand, warping them out*

*The scene changes yet again to Isaac and co. minus Felix sitting around the table. They all look older.*

I can't believe we're still celebrating Christmas.
Christmas? Oh... right. I started calling it Turkey Day.
Don't you eat turkey at other times of the year?
Not this much, no.
It's hard to be merry this year...
*sighs* I don't feel like celebrating anything.
Neither do I... why did we even bother?
If only he was still with us...
Let's not talk about it.
Yeah... he wouldn't want us to be sad at Christmas, would he?
Why did he have to be so emo? If he wasn't emo, maybe...
I just love the stuffing. It's delicious.
We get it, Garet. You like the food. Now shut up about the food already.
This is the worst Christmas lunch ever.
You're right...
Why did we even bother?
I guess we had nothing better to do...

I wonder who they are talking about. Maybe Kraden kicked the bucket. Wait, Kraden's not emo.
... *takes his hand again and warps once more*

*The scene changes, this time to a cemetery*

Ack! A cemetery?
Cemeterys are creepy! Why did you bring me here? It's scary.
What if ghosts or zombies come out? ._.
... ... ... *looks at him scornfully*
So... why are we here? Is there something you want to show me?
*walks toward a gravestone and points at it*
Huh? *takes a closer look at the gravestone and sees his name on it* ACK!
Are you saying I'm going to die? I don't want to die!
Say something! ;_;
Don't you ever talk?
... ... ...
... Alex is way prettier than you are.
*is suddenly surrounded by an aura of fire and glaring demonically at him with gritted teeth*
O_O;;;;;;;;; Uh-oh... I think that wasn't the way to make her talk...
*slowly marches toward him, raising her mace high*

*wakes up in bed screaming* ... Huh?! It WAS  a dream?
*comes into the room a minute later* Felix, what are you screaming about?
I had a scary dream! These ghosts were visiting me and they looked like you and Mia and Sheba, and Mia tried to kill me, and-
... Uh, okay. I don't need to know all the details. *goes to window and opens curtains* Oh, it's morning now. Great!
It was really scary!
PRESENTS! *bounces out of room*
I'm not in the mood for presents after that freaky dream...
Now what? *goes after her*
The tree's gone! And the presents! And the decorations! Everything's gone!
What...? Why would anybody take our things?
*runs to the kitchen and comes back* The turkey! It's gone too!
This is ridiculous. I wonder if it's happening anywhere else?

*Everyone later groups in the plaza*

Somebody raided every house in the village, stealing every Christmas related thing they could find.
It's just so barbaric. Why would they do that?
*sob* The turkey... I was looking forward to eating it...
Oh. I just remembered, I went downstairs last night to see Santa hauling away the Christmas tree.
What?! Why didn't you say anything?
Well, he said he was fixing trees or something, and I didn't think he was raiding the entire village.
So Santa stole Christmas? But Santa isn't real!

*Several Vale children hear Piers and run away crying*

Unless... someone dressed up as Santa...
And went around the village stealing everything? How could they possibly manage to take everything?
This whole Christmas thing is ridiculous anyway. Let's just forget about it.
No way! I want my presents!
And I want my turkey!
What can we do? Everything is gone...

*On top of Mt. Aleph*

Vale must be in despair right now.
We took every little Christmassy thing we could find. They don't have anything left to celebrate Christmas with.
We well and truly stole Vale's Christmas! *cackles*
And we've got so much turkey.  We could keep everyone in Prox fed for years with all that turkey.
Why are we standing on the top of Mt. Aleph?
Uh... I honestly don't know.
I sure hope nobody sees us and this humongous sack here...
Hey, can you hear that?
Is it a bunch of people crying about the fact they lost Christmas?
Um... it doesn't sound like crying.
I think they are... singing?

*In the plaza, everyone is standing around a tree and singing*

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me twelve Djinn a leaping! ... Why did I get roped into this?
Eleven Izumans dancing!
Ten Proxians piping!
Nine Chestbeaters drumming!
Eight Adepts a-questing!
Seven Krakens a-swimming!
Six Rocs a-laying!
Five Golden Rings!
Four Elemental Stars!
Three Vault thieves!
Two lonely turtles!
And a Phoenix in a talking tree!

*Mt. Aleph*

They are being merry! How can they be merry? We stole Christmas from them!
Well, it's probably hard for them to be sad about losing Christmas, seeing as they've never had one before.
Yeah. So they don't get to eat some turkey and open presents... big deal...
Could it be... Christmas has a different meaning?
Huh... now there's a thought...
Maybe... Christmas is really about being with friends and family...
Aw, who cares what it's about? Let's push this giant sack down Mt. Aleph and crush them all!
Don't be ridiculous, Agatio. Are you forgetting they were the ones who finally saved Prox for us?
Yeah, show a little gratitude, would you?
If we're so grateful, why did we steal Christmas from them?
Because being dead sucks. Actually, I think we've punished them enough now. Why don't we give the stuff back?
Wh-what?! We went to a lot of trouble to steal that stuff and now we're just giving it back?
Um. Yes.
You suck. *pouts*


Wow... carol singing is pretty fun.
Yeah, it really is.
But it's a shame we've lost everything.
Well, look on the bright side. We're still getting to have a good time together.
If we just planned on doing stuff like this from the start, we wouldn't have had to waste so much time on decorating and wrapping...
It's true, we were very busy. And it was all for nothing.
Should we... I dunno, find out who was behind stealing Christmas?
It doesn't seem right to just let them get away with it.
Oh, hey, here's your stuff.
We had a change of heart and decided to give it back.
I didn't!
Oh, put a sock in it already, Agatio...
Ah! Ghosts!
Saturos, Menardi, Agatio and Karst?
You stole Christmas from us?
Sigh... you need to be treated for turkey obsession, I swear.
Why did you do that?
Well, because we're dead.
And we really hate being dead.
So we decided to get back at you guys by taking Christmas away.
If it helps, we're sorry you're dead.
Yeah. We didn't know about the whole hometown in danger situation from the start.
Why don't you join us for Christmas? It's not fair to be left out just because you're dead.
As long as I get my turkey, I don't care.
Eh, you really mean it? We can join you?
As long as you behave yourselves, yes.
Aww, you're pretty sweet for an obnoxious brat.
Oh boy. This is going to be a long day.
Why couldn't I have been struck down with a nasty cold or something today? Why?
Oh, hush, Felix. We're going to have a nice, fun Christmas. Why would you want to miss it?
Yes... let's all enjoy Christmas together, alright?


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