Isaac's Diary


Day 1

Lost my voice. Well, crud. Now I can only nod and shake my head.

Day 2

Garet stole all the cookies and ate them. Must devise plot to kill Garet and get away with it. I don't care if he's my best friend.

Day 3

Managed to get Felix in on plot. He's sick of Garet trying to hit on his sister. Jenna's too busy accidentally burning things to pay attention to Garet.

Day 4

Plot ruined. Boulder on Mt. Aleph fell last night and Felix got washed away with his parents and my dad. Well, poo. Maybe Jenna will help out.

Day 5

Jenna too busy being emo.

Day 6

Mom made more cookies. They tasted like crap. Tried to get the point across by stomping on them since I can't talk. She thought I was just upset about Dad.

Day 7

Search called off, everyone who disappeared assumed dead. Lazy pessimists.

Day 8

I got a writing board to communicate with people since I can't talk. Yippee.


3 Years Later


Day 1

Garet burned me "accidentally" while practicing Psynergy. Must make another plan to kill him without getting caught.

Day 2

Suggested it to Jenna and she burned me too! Am now going to destroy Mars Adepts.

Day 3

Cursed Mars Adept. A couple of them robbed Vale, and Felix was alive and with them too. Blimey. Jenna and the rambling old sage, Kraden, got kidnapped. Would like to have a party, but must go off on world saving quest with Garet.

Day 4

Why are we doing what a one-eyed rock tells us to do anyway?

Day 5

Met scrawny kid named Ivan, telling us his master lost his rod. Thought he meant a vasectomy and got hit with lightning. Ouch. Beat up some thieves and kid left with rod.

Day 6

Got stuck in Goma Range and weird kid joined us again. Now travelling to Bilibin.

Day 7

Asked a weird guy with strange accent if we could go stop some wacky curse that turns people into trees. He said no.

Day 8

Busted through Bilibin Barricade. Going to Kolima Forest anyway.

Day 9

Almost got turned into trees. My, that was frightening.

Day 10

Beat up some wacky talking tree. I almost busted my spine falling through that lousy tree. Hope he pays compensation.

Day 11

In cold, snowy place. Brr... too cold. But Garet burned me again so it's okay. Ivan fainted again...

Day 12

Reached place named Imil and rushed to sanctum to revive Ivan. Threatened him and told him I would kill him if he didn't stop fainting.

Day 13

Old guy having heart attack or something. Old lady wants us to find somebody named Mia.

Day 14

Now travelling through Mercury Lighthouse with girl named Mia. Must ask her if that's actually blue dye.

Day 15

Mercury Lighthouse lit. That shiny blue light was really pretty... Mia joining us permanently. This may be uncomfortable.

Day 16

Heading back to forest with some magical healing water or whatever. Why didn't we just do Mercury Lighthouse first?

Day 17

Tree stuff sorted out, now heading south.

Day 18

Found a temple with some weird starving monk.

Day 19

Weird starving monk named Nyunpa kept looking into our minds. Ivan was blushing and Mia looked afraid. Very suspicious of new comrades.

Day 20

Weird monk made us go into waterfall to get Force or whatever. I thought Force was something you didn't own?

Day 21

Oh, wrong Force. Apparently it's an orb that shoots stuff or whatever. Shiny.

Day 22

Setting off to Mogall Forest. Asked Ivan why he was blushing before. Ivan got very embarrassed and wouldn't tell me.

Day 23

Lost in Mogall Forest. Must blackmail Ivan to tell me his secret.

Day 24

Garet thinks we should follow the apes. Stupid Garet. Stole one of Mia's panties, put them in Ivan's bag and pretended to catch him in the act.

Day 25

Ivan terrified, thinks I'll tell Mia he had her panties though he doesn't know how they got there. Mia is on warpath to find panties. Garet chasing apes.

Day 26

Ivan finally caved in when I said I would tell Mia. He told me he had been thinking... certain things about a person. Am very disturbed.

Day 27

Fought some giant ape and got a Douse Drop. Ooh, pretty and shiny...

Day 28

Put panties in Garet's bag since Mia still wants them back. Mia beat Garet senseless. I'm liking Mia even more.

Day 29

Reached Xian. Garet suspects I put the panties there. This may not turn out well.

Day 30

Did weird stuff with pushing over log. Purple-haired girl complained about voices in head and went to find guy named Hsu.

Day 31

Found girl with psychosis screaming for Hsu at Alpine Crossing. I think her name's Feizhi. Whatever.

Day 32

Caught Mia dying hair. She'll do anything for me so long as I don't tell. This could be fun.

Day 33

Altin is disgusting lagoon of monster spit. Gross.

Day 34

Trekking in mines. Riding in carts are fun!

Day 35

We're beating up moving statues. How weird is that?

Day 36

It's too dark in these stupid mines. Accidentally touched Ivan's butt. Ew.

Day 37

Convinced Ivan it was Garet who touched his butt then told Mia Garet did it. Mia seemed to believe me.

Day 38

Garet pushed me down huge hole. OW.

Day 39

Beat up some giant statue and got a Lift Gem. Nifty. Now to get out of stupid mines.

Day 40

Monster spit gone. Must go back through mines to get somewhere.

Day 41

Reached Lama Temple. Met freaky woman named Hama. Seems to know Ivan. Weird.

Day 42

Found fat dude named Hsu trapped under rocks and helped him for no reason at all.

Day 43

In hot desert. Garet, Ivan and Mia will not shut up.

Day 44

Tried to drown Garet in oasis because he wouldn't shut up. Failed.

Day 45

Sick of desert, sick of everyone saying same things over. Choked Ivan in anger.

Day 46

I can't possibly be annoyed at Mia... she's so beautiful and sweet and... wait, what?

Day 47

Fought giant Manticore and finally out of desert.

Day 48

Reached Kalay. Must have bath. Sand in pants is irritating me.

Day 49

Ivan's master was kidnapped, but his wife told us to just go on our quest. Okay then.

Day 50

Wait, what was our quest again?

Day 51

Asked Ivan, he seems intelligent. Ivan called me an idiot.

Day 52

Asked Mia. She says we have to stop lighthouses being lit or something.

Day 53

Asked Garet why we're stopping lighthouses from being lit and he hit me. Ow.

Day 54

Laughed at Garet for not knowing what an ocean was. He set me on fire.

Day 55

On ship. For some reason we must protect people on ship from monsters.

Day 56

Freaky jellyfish attacking rowers. Mmm, fried calamari is good.

Day 57

Creepy squid thing with tentacles called Kraken tried to violate us or something. Killed it dead.

Day 58

Reached Tolbi. Tolbi boring.

Day 59

Went to random cave for no reason at all. Found invisible man who wants us to get draught for him.

Day 60

Cave is blooming annoying. Kept tripping over and falling on face. Can't see a thing.

Day 61

Got draught. Hope we don't drop it.

Day 62

Garet shocked invisible man is really a man.

Day 63

Got to fight in Colosso thing. Whatever.

Day 64

Did well in Colosso. Guy named Iodem travelling with us to Venus Lighthouse.

Day 65

Iodem is annoying and won't shut up. Got own back at him by stealing Mia's bra and putting it in his bag.

Day 66

Backfired. Mia thought Garet put them there. Enjoyed seeing Garet beaten.

Day 67

Travelling through weird desert full of tornadoes.

Day 68

Tried throwing Ivan at a tornado. Failed miserably.

Day 69

Got chased by huge freaking tornado. Barely got away. Whew.

Day 70

Stupid Garet dragged me back and forced us to fight huge freaking lizard.

Day 71

Found soldiers beaten up at Suhalla Gate. Something about group with no papers. Honestly, I don't blame then. I would have done the same.

Day 72

Reached Venus Lighthouse. Entrance is actually exit. Blah.

Day 73

Found real entrance. Finally got to leave Iodem behind.

Day 74

Nearly at aerie... hopefully.

Day 75

Keep falling off annoying sandfall.

Day 76

Still falling off. Maybe there's another way...

Day 77

Hey, didn't know I could actually run!

Day 78

Reached aerie. Tried to get kidnapped girl back and failed. Lost rod and fighting scary Mars Adepts.

Day 79

After beating huge dragon, Felix jumped off lighthouse with kidnapped girl. He's insane.

Day 80

Set sail on ship borrowed from that old guy, Babi. Apparently we also have to save his life or something, but this quest is more important... whatever it was.


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