Garet's Diary



Day 1

Isaac not talking to me. Well, fine, I won't talk to him either! He's such a jerk! Just ate five bowls of fried rice. Yum.

Day 2

Got revenge on Isaac by stealing and eating his cookies. Before learning Isaac's actually lost his voice. Whoops.

Day 3

I am very scared. Isaac and Felix keep giving me scary looks. Must ask Jenna what's going on... after asking her if we can date. But first, I'm going to eat that leg of ham left over from lunch.

Day 4

Jenna rejected me again! Oh, and that boulder on Mt. Aleph fell last night too. Felix got washed away along with parents and Isaac's dad. I heroically tried to save all the food in the house by pulling it in a chest, but stupid Isaac stopped me.

Day 5

Jenna is being emo. Maybe if I help her cheer up, she'll date me. I've got some food we could share.

Day 6

Grounded for breaking vase. Can't see Jenna. Am very sad. Will cheer self up by eating entire cookie jar.

Day 7

They stopped searching for Felix and everyone else. Wow, what pessimists. Was bored today, so I ate the cake for Kay's birthday. I'll blame it on Aaron.

Day 8

Got away with it. Except then I was caught eating that pound of beef out of the larder. I didn't realise it was for dinner.


3 Years Later


Day 1

I accidentally burned Isaac while practicing Psynergy, because I was thinking about that box of muffins I wanted to eat later. Whoops.

Day 2

My tummy hurts. I shouldn't have eaten that bowl of pasta, that left over pizza, the last slice of ham, that chicken leg, those biscuits and that slice of cake all at once... oh, yeah, I forgot the potato chips. And that slice of steak pie.

Day 3

Some freaky people robbed Vale, and Felix was with them. Oh, I guess he's alive then. Jenna and Kraden went off with them. I want to have a feast to celebrate Kraden's leaving, but we haven't got time. Have to prepare to go on world saving quest tomorrow with Isaac.

Day 4

Bag too heavy... well, it was, until Isaac threw out half the food in it! Bastard.

Day 5

Met a kid named Ivan. His master is a eunuch. I wonder what it's like missing a rod. Beat up thieves and Ivan left with stolen stick.

Day 6

Ivan joined us in Goma Range when we got stuck. Asked him if he had food. He doesn't. Sucks. Going to Bilibin. I hope they have some good food.

Day 7

When we got to Bilibin, I ate six bowls of chicken curry, then had some ice cream and chocolate cake. I then threw up. Apparently there's a curse going around turning people into trees. Freaky.

Day 8

Going to Kolima Forest. I don't want to be a tree, because then I won't be able to eat food. How horrible...

Day 9

Almost became tree. Damn Isaac, wanting to play the hero. It's all his fault.

Day 10

I'm hungry. Beat up some talking tree. Now can we go eat? Ivan shouted at me for being so greedy. Wah.

Day 11

We're in a cold, snowy place. Isaac complained too much so I burned him. Ivan won't stop fainting. Stupid Ivan.

Day 12

Reached Imil. Had some nice hot stew. Okay, a lot of stew. It's too damn cold here!

Day 13

Gotta find chick named Mia. Popular around here, apparently. Everyone's talking about her. Do they even have lives?

Day 14

Travelling through Mercury Lighthouse. Mia joined us. She's not as good looking as Jenna in my opinion and those thick robes cover up her chest, which is a disappointment.

Day 15

Mercury Lighthouse got lit. Mia's joined us. Hmm, this could be fun. Might have to "accidentally" catch her in the nude a few times.

Day 16

Stupid Isaac. Now we have to go back to Kolima Forest with healing water for crazy talking tree. Why didn't we leave Kolima Forest until later?

Day 17

Tree sorted out. Heading south... after I've had a hearty meal in Kolima. It's time to sample their food now that the villagers aren't trees.

Day 18

Weird monk starving himself in temple. I guess he gave up on life. I just can't understand how anybody could go through so much suffering...

Day 19

Creepy monk kept reading our minds. Made sure I thought about nothing but food. That creep ain't going to get anything out of me.

Day 20

Monk made us get Force Orb. I don't get it. What the heck is it for?

Day 21

Apparently it shoots stuff. I still don't get it.

Day 22

Going to freaky forest. Mia seemed rather relieved to get away from the mind reading monk. What's up with her?

Day 23

We're lost in the stupid forest. I've already eaten half the rations. Oops.

Day 24

I have a strange feeling that we should follow those apes scurrying around. Oh, and the rations are finished. Crap.

Day 25

I wonder what ape meat tastes like. Must pursue apes. I am starving.

Day 26

Damn apes. They are too fast for me. I'm... so... hungry. What do Djinn taste like?

Day 27

Finally escaped forest and got shiny thing. Thankfully found a tree with fruit.

Day 28

Damn it. Mia's panties somehow got in my bag and she took them. I tried to tell her I didn't take them, but she beat me senseless anyway. Ow. Hurts.

Day 29

I bet Isaac was the one who put the panties in my bag. One day... I'm going to pay him back. We're in Xian now.

Day 30

A weird purple-haired chick has voices in her head. Well, whatever. Food in Xian is great.

Day 31

Saw the weird chick again, screaming for guy named Kazoo. Or whatever it was.

Day 32

I ate a whole cake just now. And some sandwiches. And pie. And sausages. I'm still hungry.

Day 33

Awesome! Discovered lagoon of monster spit!

Day 34

Wandering around in cold, dark mines. Boring.

Day 35

Disgusting statues spewing water everywhere. Have to kill them all dead.

Day 36

Isaac touched Ivan's butt. He thinks I didn't see, but I saw it all. I wonder if I could use this against Isaac.

Day 37

Ivan and Mia think I touched Ivan's butt. I am going to kill Isaac.

Day 38

Pushed Isaac down giant hole after almost getting crushed by boulder. Unfortunately, he didn't die.

Day 39

Got some Lift Gem. Getting out of mines now.

Day 40

Awesome monster spit is gone. What a shame.

Day 41

Reached Lama Temple and met some woman who seemed to know Ivan. I bet that kid's hiding things.

Day 42

For some reason, we helped free a fat dude named... what was it? Achoo?

Day 43

I hate this blooming hot desert. Ivan, Mia and I will absolutely not stop complaining about it.

Day 44

Isaac tried to drown me in oasis. Damn him. Luckily, I survived.

Day 45

I think Isaac's in a bad mood. He just tried to strangle Ivan.

Day 46

Isaac has not tried to do anything to Mia. Just as well, I'll kill him if he does.

Day 47

Finally got out of this stupid desert. Hopefully Isaac will be in a better mood now.

Day 48

Reached Kalay. They have great food. It's Ivan's home as well...

Day 49

The eunuch was kidnapped, it seems. Wait, he has a wife?

Day 50

Ivan just shouted at me. Oh, apparently he wasn't an eunuch. Then what was the missing rod thing about?

Day 51

Seems it was that stick Ivan got in Vault. Whoops.

Day 52

It probably should have been obvious. Oh well. I'm just going to eat more food.

Day 53

Isaac asked me what the quest was about. I hit him. How could he forget such a thing?!

Day 54

That jerk Isaac laughed at me for not knowing what an ocean was. Set him on fire.

Day 55

Got to protect some people on a ship from monsters.

Day 56

The monsters taste delicious.

Day 57

Nearly got tentacle raped by freaky Kraken thing. Am disturbed. Am also very disturbed to notice Kraken is spelled similarly to Kraden.

Day 58

Got to Tolbi. Trying to get disturbing image of Kraden with tentacles out of head.

Day 59

Found an invisible person hanging out in a cave. Got to get draught for them.

Day 60

This cave is too blooming dark. Can't see!

Day 61

Finally got stupid draught.

Day 62

The invisible person was a man!

Day 63

Isaac fighting in Colosso. I want to fight too! Damn him.

Day 64

Travelling with a man named Iodem to Venus Lighthouse. He talks too much.

Day 65

Mia's bra apparently went missing. Checked bag. Thankfully, her bra was not in my bag.

Day 66

Mia found bra in Iodem's bag. However, she thought I put them there and beat me up! Isaac seemed amused. I swear he was the one who put them there.

Day 67

Travelling through a dangerous desert full of tornadoes. Yikes.

Day 68

Isaac tried throwing Ivan at a tornado. What's his problem?

Day 69

Got chased by a tornado. That cowardly Isaac forced us to escape from the desert instead of fighting.

Day 70

Dragged Isaac back into desert so that we could fight lizard. We need that experience after all!

Day 71

Found soldiers beaten up at Suhalla Gate, because they tried to stop group without papers going through. Serves them right.

Day 72

Reached Venus Lighthouse. Bodies everywhere.

Day 73

Finally got to leave Iodem behind. It seems so quiet and peaceful now.

Day 74

Going through lighthouse... keep slipping on stupid sandfalls. How irritating.

Day 75

We absolutely can't get past this particular sandfall. I'm getting sick of falling.

Day 76

Maybe we're going the wrong way...

Day 77

Isaac discovered we could actually run. Finally got across sandfall.

Day 78

Fighting scary Mars Adepts on aerie to try and save girl with weird shaped head.

Day 79

Defeated huge dragon. Felix jumped off lighthouse for girl with funny shaped head.

Day 80

Sailing on ship borrowed from some guy. Surrounded by the ocean. This is not very fun at all.


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